


the king of his own castle

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, kinda based off of My Future Self 'n' Me and Sims 3 lol, kyman for days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2016-12-30
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:57:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9116014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Kyle was sure that he'd regret this. Or it'd end up being some kind of ploy that Cartman set up just to get a reaction out of Kyle, but Kyle just wanted to be a part of early science, well, if you could call what Cartman did for a living as a science. Time traveling AU (kinda)





	

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize if it's awful, I wrote this on a whim.

Kyle was sure that he'd regret this. Or it'd end up being some kind of ploy that Cartman set up just to get a reaction out of Kyle, but Kyle just wanted to be a part of early science, well, if you could call what Cartman did for a living as science.

When he stepped into Cartman's office, he wasn't surprised by the metal plaque on Cartman's desk that read, Eric Cartman, CEO. Being the CEO of a Time Travelling company whilst still in your twenties would be something even Kyle himself would brag about. Cartman had definitely worked hard at something for once.

Cartman smirked at him when he entered the office. "Well well well, look who we have here," Cartman said, shaking his head. "Kahl, coming to see my greatest accomplishment yet."

Kyle rolled his eyes. Sure, time travel was a great thing, but he knew Cartman was just going to rub it in his face the entire time. Kyle was just hoping that Cartman's ego wouldn't tarnish his trip to see his Descendants.

Kyle was nervous, nonetheless. Being bisexual meant that he could literally be married to anyone in the future, and there was really no pinpointing who he'd settle down with as of right now.

Cartman grabbed a big key ring off of his desk that had almost a thousand keys on it. He led Kyle to a room that was just down the hall from his office. The door was made of a heavy oak and had more locks than there were keys on the ring. Cartman then took the time to unlock every lock and after what seemed to be days, the door swung open.

Inside, there was a huge metal tube with a glass door with glowing blue light and sounds that sounded like they were coming from a jet engine were coming out of it. Kyle was surprised, he'd already known that the time machine would look like something out of a low budget sci-fi film, he just didn't expect it to look this cool.

"Pretty cool, right?" Cartman shouted over the noise.

"...Wow, Cartman." Were the only words that could come out of Kyle's mouth.

Cartman handed Kyle a garment bag, and pointed at the instructions on it. After reading them, Kyle discovered that he'd have to change into a pressurized suit for safety during travel. Kyle started to take off his shirt when he realized Cartman had already gotten into his. Kyle couldn't help but stare at the brunette's ass. The suits were tight, and they definitely complimented Cartman's features.

After slipping in to his suit, Kyle caught Cartman doing the same to him. After a few moments of Cartman's eyes wandering over Kyle's body, He snapped back into reality.

Cartman then went over to the tube and pressed a few buttons on the side and opened the door, and motioned for Kyle to get in.

"Are both of us going to fit in there?" Kyle said.

"Uh, yeah? Don't worry, Jew, I've done this thousands of times!"

Kyle reluctantly got into the tube. Cartman squeezed in across from him, and then shut the door.

It definitely didn't feel like how Kyle felt it would. It didn't hurt, nor did it didn't feel great, it was like he was on a rollercoaster, his stomach doing summersaults. He had clenched his eyes shut in fear, but Cartman tapped his back for him to open them.

When he opened his eyes, he smiled bigger than he had in his entire life. Kyle could see tall, more than modern buildings and cars that didn't float, but glided along instead.

"Holy shit," is all Kyle could say, inbetween sighs. Cartman giggled a bit, and grabbed Kyle's hand.

Kyle was taken aback by this gesture, but he was too giddy to care.

Cartman guided Kyle through a pair of steel doors, and when they entered, Kyle saw that they were on some sort of metal platform. Suddenly, the floor dropped, and then they were at a completely different set of steel doors. Kyle's grip on Cartman's hand had gotten stronger and Cartman shot a somewhat comforting/emphatic glance at him.

When they exited, Cartman guided Kyle down the street until they reached a really big building on the corner.

"Here we are," Cartman said. Kyle noticed that Cartman had been uneasy and was visibly nervous, which definitely wasn't something Kyle was used to seeing in him.

When they rang the doorbell, a beautiful melody of electronic chimes went off in the house. There was some shouting in the background, but the door opened in no time.

"Eric!" A woman shouted, her gray hair spilling everywhere as she bear hugged Cartman.

"Hello Betsy, how are you?" Cartman greeted. Kyle mentally added that to his list of things Cartman didn't usually do.

"Come in, come in! I simply lost track of time and forgot you were stopping by! I'll get our butler make us some tea!" The woman seemed to shake from excitement. She went over to the wall next to the door and pushed a few buttons on a panel.

"Betsy, this is Kyle, one of your ancestors," Cartman said, as he threw his arm around Kyle's shoulder.

Betsy smilied, and engulfed Kyle in a hug. "It's wonderful to meet you, Eric has told me so much about you!"

Kyle cocked an eyebrow at Cartman, who shrugged at him.

Betsy led them to the foyer, where a couch , two pear-shaped chairs and a coffee table sat. A tea pot was sitting on the table, and she began to pour tea for all three of them.

"Betsy, I'm going to use your restroom, if that's okay with you," Cartman said, in a tone Kyle had never heard him use, even when he was really trying to sway someone. These people would probably never know the true Eric Cartman.

"Oh, Kyle!" Betsy chirped. "I have a photo album I need to show you!"

Betsy touched near her ear and a projection screen popped up right in front of them. She said a few things that Kyle didn't quite understand, and then picture began to whizz by.

"Slow!" she commanded, and the pictures began to crawl by as told.

Kyle saw titles at the bottom of the pictures. He didn't understand many of them, but then he saw a picture of him, Cartman, Stan and Kenny that they had taken at a bar on Cartman's twenty-first birthday.

"Wait, what was that one?"

Betsy tapped the air a couple of times and whispered to herself, and the picture was still.

"That's our only picture of you and great- grandpa Eric when you were young," Betsy sighed. "My, you guys-"

Kyle nearly spit out his tea. "Great-grandpa Eric? I thought you were MY descendant?"

"Well, you are. You're my great-grandpa too, y'know!" Betsy said with a smile.

"What-what are you hinting at?" Kyle asked, hoping that what he had already put together wasn't true.

There was no way Kyle would not only date Cartman but also go on to marry him and somehow have kids with him. Kyle had thought about it before, but he knew after awhile, they wouldn't be able to stand eachother.

"Oh, you don't know..." Betsy whispered to herself.

 

"What'd I miss?" Cartman cut in. He wasn't expecting for the pictures to already be out.

"I need some air!" Kyle shouted as he jumped to his feet. He started for the door, and Cartman tried to stop him, but Kyle had just pushed past him with no problem.

"There was some canned air in the kitchen if he needed it so desperately," Betsy sighed. "The air out there is dirty, anyways, maybe you should go get him."

Cartman sighed, and followed Kyle in suit.

He was sitting on the steps, with his forehead on his palm. Cartman was worried that this would change everything. Cartman should've just denied Kyle's request, and this wouldn't have happened.

Cartman sat down next to him, expecting Kyle to scoot away from him or run away in some sorts, but Kyle sat up.

"Kahl," Cartman began. "I'm sorry that I brought you here. I should've known that you would react like this and I should've known that it might damage our lineage-"

Cartman was cut off by Kyle leaning into kiss him. They connected, and Cartman didn't know how to react. Of course he knew this day was coming someday.

"Ew!" An unfamiliar voice called. "Grandma, some guys are making out on your front porch!"

"Carson, don't speak to your ancestors like that!"

Kyle pulled away, and looked up at Cartman. "It's me?"

"It's always been you, Kyle."


End file.
